Carrot Juice Constitutes Murder

I dont know where this came from, and I am quite shocked as to its cause, so I thought I would give you all a heads up as to one of the biggest challenges that we as a community will face. It attacks our rights and freedoms beyond the status quo, more than any other organization would ever make or do or go beyond by its gobeyondedness. I am talking about the Beta-Carrotene private eyes. I know, you may say, that they dont exist. "A Farce!" you would then add. "I never heard such a preposterouse statement in my life." You would also add.

But, my friends, a sad day has come, and we are faced with a reality that even our basic rights to oppress carrots are being smothered in the tide of 'tolerance' and totalarian terrestre. This group actually believes that we should change legislation to promote the welfare of carrots. A crying chame, to be chure, because for the last 100 years carrot labour has supplied us with many amazing products like toothpaste and non-residual, strong-enough for a man-but-made-for-a-woman deodorant. This group seeks to change this, to take away our freedom of expression slash freedom of opression of our sightly friends. What can we do?

Well here is what we can do....we need to lobby the government to make their group illegal. We must crush them. Shut down their alleys of expression and curb their allies of equal and opposite intention so that they wll get no attention-not even a pension! We can't let anyone know the true facts and costs of carrot oppression, as this might lead the authorities to make a moral judgement condemning it. And we must not let the evil buggers get us down, because once they do, those carrots can walk all over us..and theyve got sharp ends! Hike! Please dont give up in the fight for rights of Carrot Opression. the Beta-Carrotene Corperation needs YOU. NOW.